Our good friends Kristin & Sienna just returned from Honduras, where they helped to build a classroom. Check out their blog at http://travels-dt.blogspot.com
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
A Calmer Place?
These days I've also been wondering -- is being busy just "who I am," something I should just accept and roll with? Or is my real work to figure out how to be calm. I had the good fortune to connect with an insightful life and leadership coach - Jeff Bercuvitz - who challenged me to step back and figure out why it is that I feel compelled to do so much? How do you know "how much" is enough? So when Parm talks about handling being busy with "grace" is it really that some individuals just figure out how much is enough for them, and hold the line? Are there folks out there who really achieve a sense of calm and leave time for reflection and self-nurturing? I think there are times when we have super-busy phases - almost like an infant going through a growth spurt. And as we follow our passions and explore our talents (and continue to develop relationships, uphold responsibilities and care for our families), life can get crazy-busy. But when my "busyness" leads to an overwhelming place, filled with anxiety, does it mean I've tipped the scale too far? Or does it mean that I just need to re-calibrate to a new normal? I'm looking forward to figuring out if it's time to slow down, reach inside to a explore a calmer pace. Or is it time to get comfortable with being busy and build in the time to regenerate and reflect?
On Being Busy
So, I've been thinking for a while about being busy. I've been too busy to write about it...but today is a snow day, so I have a few minutes, I think.
It is interesting to me that I am so busy. I have worked hard over the last year + to be intentional in what I am doing. Doing only these things that are important and meaningful to me. How can so many things be important & meaningful? I've been trying to figure out what to drop & I just can't figure it out.
I feel as though I've completely tapped my time management skills. By that, I mean that I could probably be more organized & do a better job managing my time, but I don't really want to. I want to have relaxed evenings with my family a few times a week. And, I want to enjoy weekend time with the kids & my husband & with family/friends.
I think the key to the overwhelmed feeling is to have a plan. I know that some of my commitments will end in May & that things will calm down considerably. Does that make it ok to be so crazy now, though? I don't know. I see people around me handle their crazy lives with such grace & I wonder how. I strive for that grace & I know that on the outside it appears that I am handling it with grace. But most don't see the moments when I'm so conflicted about what to do next or I feel like I'm not doing what I want to do with my kids or I have hard time talking to my husband b/c I'm too overwhelmed & tired to explain it all. Like right now, my son is dancing around the living room & I could be dancing with him. Instead I'm doing this or making a list of all the things that need to get done, or doing all the things that need to get done.
As always, I'm not sure what I should be doing, so I just have to make a decision & do it. I guess right now, I'll dance for a minute, then start some laundry, then clean my room a bit, shower & do some work. Then it will be time to think about lunch, finding a babysitter for the afternoon so I can go to work, & dinner.
Any thoughts? Trying to stay afloat, Parm
It is interesting to me that I am so busy. I have worked hard over the last year + to be intentional in what I am doing. Doing only these things that are important and meaningful to me. How can so many things be important & meaningful? I've been trying to figure out what to drop & I just can't figure it out.
I feel as though I've completely tapped my time management skills. By that, I mean that I could probably be more organized & do a better job managing my time, but I don't really want to. I want to have relaxed evenings with my family a few times a week. And, I want to enjoy weekend time with the kids & my husband & with family/friends.
I think the key to the overwhelmed feeling is to have a plan. I know that some of my commitments will end in May & that things will calm down considerably. Does that make it ok to be so crazy now, though? I don't know. I see people around me handle their crazy lives with such grace & I wonder how. I strive for that grace & I know that on the outside it appears that I am handling it with grace. But most don't see the moments when I'm so conflicted about what to do next or I feel like I'm not doing what I want to do with my kids or I have hard time talking to my husband b/c I'm too overwhelmed & tired to explain it all. Like right now, my son is dancing around the living room & I could be dancing with him. Instead I'm doing this or making a list of all the things that need to get done, or doing all the things that need to get done.
As always, I'm not sure what I should be doing, so I just have to make a decision & do it. I guess right now, I'll dance for a minute, then start some laundry, then clean my room a bit, shower & do some work. Then it will be time to think about lunch, finding a babysitter for the afternoon so I can go to work, & dinner.
Any thoughts? Trying to stay afloat, Parm
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Nightly Reading
So generally I read at night. I wander between intense novels and magazines (usually the Oprah magazine...thanks to a subscription gift from my sister), with the very occasional non-fiction book. Last night I was reading the latest edition of Oprah. One of my favorite regular contributors to the magazine is Martha Beck. She wrote an article about lists. I LOVE lists. I think most people like lists. They help us to be orderly and effective. Well the lists she spoke about were a "higher" calling of list... the magic list.
Check it out: http://www2.oprah.com/spiritself/omag/ss_omag_200802_mbeck.jhtml
The basic jist is that you can make a list of anything meaningful (the example in the article was about a woman who made a list of 100 qualities in her yet to be met perfect mate). The list is more of a vision of where you want to be in the future. And, if you make that list from your authentic self (inner core of peace), the majority of the things on the list come true. Like magic. I love it! I can't wait to make this list. I guess I need to add "make magic list" to my to do list. I hope it makes it onto your to do list, too! Let me know how it turns out. -Parm
Check it out: http://www2.oprah.com/spiritself/omag/ss_omag_200802_mbeck.jhtml
The basic jist is that you can make a list of anything meaningful (the example in the article was about a woman who made a list of 100 qualities in her yet to be met perfect mate). The list is more of a vision of where you want to be in the future. And, if you make that list from your authentic self (inner core of peace), the majority of the things on the list come true. Like magic. I love it! I can't wait to make this list. I guess I need to add "make magic list" to my to do list. I hope it makes it onto your to do list, too! Let me know how it turns out. -Parm
Friday, January 25, 2008
running in the cold
So, I went for a run this morning in the dark & in the cold. The weather channel said the temp was -1 deg.F. No wind. I thought, I've run in colder. My running buddies had bagged on me...one the night before, one this morning. But I was dressed, so I headed out. It affirmed for me that when I am on the fence about whether or not to get outside, just GO! I had a great time. It was quiet, beautiful, no wind. I did not have even one moment of being uncomfortable.
More than any of that, though, I find running in the morning to be a spiritual experience. I move my body, I hear my breath, my mind wanders & then sort of goes blank. Much like yoga & meditation. I've often said that I wasn't able to run distances until I had practiced meditation. I enjoyed that clear open blank mind while doing meditation, but it was so hard to get there. The house had to be quiet, I had to have time at home w/o needing doing other things...it just wasn't feasible with young children. So, I happened upon that state through running & so became addicted.
Now, I find that I only want to run in the morning. In the morning it is quiet & easier to get to that state. Also, when I am with friends, I can lose myself in our conversation & not worry as much about traffic, etc. It is my time that I can cherish & keep with me throughout the day or week or sometimes for years. The moments when it is so cold my eyeballs get cold & I have to laugh about it. Or the beautiful sunrise or moonset. Or jokes & laughter with friends (like when a friend was on a training tun for the Vermont City Marathon & having hard time & another friend asked how her big toe felt, "great" she said...now when anyone complains, we ask about their big toe...the complaints pass but the big toe almost always feels great). Some of those moments will be with me always.
So, lace up your shoes some cold morning soon & head out the door & renew yourself!
Staying warm,
Parm
More than any of that, though, I find running in the morning to be a spiritual experience. I move my body, I hear my breath, my mind wanders & then sort of goes blank. Much like yoga & meditation. I've often said that I wasn't able to run distances until I had practiced meditation. I enjoyed that clear open blank mind while doing meditation, but it was so hard to get there. The house had to be quiet, I had to have time at home w/o needing doing other things...it just wasn't feasible with young children. So, I happened upon that state through running & so became addicted.
Now, I find that I only want to run in the morning. In the morning it is quiet & easier to get to that state. Also, when I am with friends, I can lose myself in our conversation & not worry as much about traffic, etc. It is my time that I can cherish & keep with me throughout the day or week or sometimes for years. The moments when it is so cold my eyeballs get cold & I have to laugh about it. Or the beautiful sunrise or moonset. Or jokes & laughter with friends (like when a friend was on a training tun for the Vermont City Marathon & having hard time & another friend asked how her big toe felt, "great" she said...now when anyone complains, we ask about their big toe...the complaints pass but the big toe almost always feels great). Some of those moments will be with me always.
So, lace up your shoes some cold morning soon & head out the door & renew yourself!
Staying warm,
Parm
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
getting started...again
1/23/08
so, almost a year after i set-up this blog, it seems i'm ready to write my first post. i'm having one of those days, where i can't quite focus, but feel contented to wander along. my journey this morning led me to http://www.ted.com/, where i was inspired by sir ken robinson speaking about creativity and majora carter on sustainable south bronx. wow. what amazing insights and actions. and so today, i find myself wondering where my wanderings will lead. more and more, my work seems to take me into the realm of "public engagement". i'm not sure quite what that means for me yet - but i have a notion that i can be part of helping to inform, engage and connect people to do some good work together. for me, for now, this work centers around our schools...but i wonder, how is it that we find our work, or is it that our work find us?
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